There comes a point in your life when you have to say, “enough is enough”.
For years I had been working towards my dream of running my own photography studio. The dream was there for as long as I had been holding a camera.
Over time, the end goal got bigger and my ‘work/life goals’ got larger.
This is what happens when your dreams grow with you I guess.
About this time last year, I was chasing a new premises and even started with the solicitors and had the keys given to me. It did fall through, but that just meant I started looking to employ a third member of staff to help expand the business in a new direction instead.
I was setting myself and staff these huge money goals and occasionally we succeeded. It was a time of great excitement, new possibilities and the faint smell of success in the air.
But, if I am honest with myself, something always felt off.
When you work towards something for over a decade and you finally get there…. you start to wonder what could be next?
All of a sudden the finish line moves and the new goal post doesn’t actually seem that appealing.
The thing with time is, people change.
The goals I set when I was 24 are nothing like the life I want to live now at the age of 34.
There are aspects of my ‘now’ that I would have never seen coming, such as being a single mum for the last 6 years. Getting a three storey studio and doing it up to how I envisioned it, with the help of my best friend. Employing three members of staff. Actually working and making a living as a full time photographer!!
Seriously, I am so proud of all I have achieved and so grateful for the journey.
I have changed into a strong, confident, determined woman with an amazing daughter, home, life, friends and career.
No, it’s not always been easy and the reason I am writing this now is because I have felt very very low over the past 6 months, and I had to make some life changing decisions in order to help myself.
I said to myself, ‘enough is enough’ and decided to ask deep down, ‘what is enough for me?’
The big money goals and dream studio visonboard were not fitting anymore. I felt like a failure every time I didn’t make a sale or got a letter through the post telling me I missed another payment on some finance or leasing agreement. I was living so far beyond my means I had to lose staff, then part of my business, then more staff, then the whole studio and finally my longest running staff member.
To say I have had a shit few months would be an understatement….. However it’s done now.
The decisions have been made and actioned, even though I held on for so long in the hope I could keep it going. But now there is a new dynamic and I have faith it will work.
I asked myself what enough for me is, and it turns out I don’t want to make £10’000 a month and have to be tied down to one place, pushing and pushing for clients all day every day.
I want to pay my bills and put food on my table, maybe treat my girly to a holiday or a weekend away, but I don’t need to work every hour in the day and miss out on the normal everyday stuff because I have such huge overheads and pressures on me.
Enough is enough!
So, here I am. Living my enough.
Working from home. Working on my own. I make sure to plan one day a week for me. I get to be creative, catch up with my spiritual woo woo friends or simply listen to an inspiring audio book.
I reach out to new and exciting opportunities as my mind is open to all the possibilities that may lie ahead. During the free time I have now, without such HUGE financial pressures, I can really start to work on who I am and what I want my new, simple life to look like.
I will no longer be drawn into the sales and marketing programs promising me wealth and riches. I will no longer do work I don’t want to do, as I don’t have the financial option to turn it down.
Now I will do what I want to do, no matter how far from the past version of me it is.
I will open up and aline with new paths, experiences and people. I am spiritual and make magical images and art work. I attract amazing clients that value the normal every day, just as I do, and together we capture those memories that I am so passionate about making sure everyone has to keep forever.
I am able to give back as I am not so exhausted and run down.
Being me, and allowing myself to be put first was the scariest thing I have ever had to do, and the people pleaser in me hated every second of it, but I am so glad I did it.
I am a better mother when I am less stressed. I sleep better when I have less burdens on my mind. My creativity flows when my head is clear. People are commenting on how much better I look and I actually feel better too.
If you are struggling and believe you must put everyone else first, I leave you with these wise words my bestie says to me all the time:
“You can’t pour from an empty cup”
Fill up your cup, then you can fill up others. Find your enough, take the pressure off and see what magic awaits.
You’ve got this!
We’ve got this xx